Supercars Fans Investigating Roland Dane After Mercedes Spotted

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT A group of Holden fans have this morning apparently organised themselves into a small but remarkably angry mob after one of them reckons he spotted Roland Dane getting out of a Mercedes C-class in the paddock at the Superloop Adelaide 500.  The sighting apparently occurred around 7.30am this morning, and has the potential to make Roland look like … Continue reading Supercars Fans Investigating Roland Dane After Mercedes Spotted

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Roland Dane Lodges Protest Against Supercars Fans

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT In a classic move, Roland Dane has today had a massive whinge about the predicament Triple 8 and the other Holden Supercars teams find themselves in, and decided that it’s definitely “the fans” fault because they didn’t buy enough Opels.  “Look, we don’t really think it’s anything to do with us. The problem is our fans put us … Continue reading Roland Dane Lodges Protest Against Supercars Fans

Roland Dane Seeks Advice From Fernando Alonso On How To Make Up With Manufacturers

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As the fallout from the Holden capitulation continues, and Holden fans everywhere continue to sob quietly to themselves in between random outbursts of pure emotion directed at innocent family and friends, reports are coming in that Triple 8 boss Roland Dane may have reached out to Fernando Alonso overnight.  The Waterton Sports Chronicle understands Roland is a bit … Continue reading Roland Dane Seeks Advice From Fernando Alonso On How To Make Up With Manufacturers

Overly Emotionally Invested Holden Fan Reckons He’ll Get “A Fair Bit” For Old HRT Hat Now

A grieving Holden fan has entertained people on social media tonight after claiming that he could easily get “a fair bit bro, I reckon easily $10K eh” for an old HRT team cap from the Mark Skaife era.  The drama unfolded this afternoon after Waterton man Wally “Wazza” McDonald (45) posted in a Holden fan page on Facebook a picture of the manky old hat. … Continue reading Overly Emotionally Invested Holden Fan Reckons He’ll Get “A Fair Bit” For Old HRT Hat Now

F1: Williams Unveil “Revolutionary” New Paint Scheme In Bid To Win 2020 Title

After what the team are describing as a “challenging” few seasons, Williams have already improved in 2020 by at least having a car ready for preseason testing this time. In addition to this massive step forward, Williams F1 have unveiled a new livery that they reckon will “completely solve” all the issues that have seen the team celebrate achievements like managing to only get lapped … Continue reading F1: Williams Unveil “Revolutionary” New Paint Scheme In Bid To Win 2020 Title

Supercars Wooing New Manufacturers Following Holden Euthanasia

Following the news that GM has finally sent Holden to the farm after years of producing cars that no one bought while happily taking billions of taxpayer dollars back to Detroit, Supercars has woken up this morning in a quiet panic, and decided maybe they should probably kind of sort of try to maybe stop scaring away new manufacturers, perhaps.  The Waterton Sports Chronicle understands … Continue reading Supercars Wooing New Manufacturers Following Holden Euthanasia

Supercars Announces New Parity Measure After Holden Pulls The Plug

Following the news that surprised almost no one, that the Holden brand is finally being put out it’s misery after years of flailing around like a baby bird the cat caught but isn’t quite ready to kill yet, Supercars has acted swiftly to make sure the development doesn’t make it any easier for a Ford to win anything.  Speaking from Tailem Bend, where he is … Continue reading Supercars Announces New Parity Measure After Holden Pulls The Plug

BREAKING: AFLW Player Kicks Goal

Reports are coming in that an AFLW player has kicked a goal before the end of the 3rd Quarter tonight.  Details are sketchy but The Waterton Sports Chronicle understands the incident occured, remarkably, towards the end of the first quarter of the Bulldogs v Demons game in Melbourne tonight.  A witness at the scene said the incident had come as a bit of a surprise … Continue reading BREAKING: AFLW Player Kicks Goal

Supercars Resists Urge To Investigate Scott McLaughlin’s Indycar Test

In utterly shocking news just announced, Supercars has apparently said it won’t be looking into how Scott McLaughlin managed to do so well at his Indycar test at COTA in Texas today.  The decision comes after several years of efforts by Supercars, under the guidance of Paulie the Parity Pelican, to discourage the DJR Team Penske driver from trying to win races with a range … Continue reading Supercars Resists Urge To Investigate Scott McLaughlin’s Indycar Test

Supercars Investigating Team Penske 2020 Livery

In mostly unsurprising news, Supercars has apparently tonight launched an inquiry into DJR Team Penske’s 2020 livery to see if they can find a reason to issue a penalty.  The Waterton Sports Chronicle understands that the enquiry will focus initially on the idea that the colour red automatically makes cars faster.  “What we’re looking into is whether we might have been squawking up the wrong … Continue reading Supercars Investigating Team Penske 2020 Livery