Supercars To Deploy Life-Size Cutouts Of Renee Gracie’s OnlyFans Stream

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT With only a couple of weeks to go before the actual circus that is Supercars makes its return to the real world at Sydney Motorsport Park, the so-called “organisation” has announced a new plan to ensure “parity” is achieved, should the need arise.  The initiative, sponsored by OnlyFans, will see a number of life-size cutouts of former Supergirl … Continue reading Supercars To Deploy Life-Size Cutouts Of Renee Gracie’s OnlyFans Stream

Supercars: Jack Smith’s Dad Lobbies Supercars For Real-Life Reverse-Grid Races

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Perennial backmarker Jack Smith is apparently “optimistic” that his dad might help him not look so slow in the future if he could just start ahead of everyone else instead of at the back every time.  The Waterton Chronicle understands Jack Smith’s dad is in talks with Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity  Pelican to see if the … Continue reading Supercars: Jack Smith’s Dad Lobbies Supercars For Real-Life Reverse-Grid Races

Supercars: Thirsty Boys Mock Renee Gracie While Simultaneously Signing Up To OnlyFans

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As Renee Gracie’s post-racing career income goes astronomical, thirsty boys everywhere are suffering from levels of hypocrisy not seen since the days when Pam and Tommy’s 80MB “boating” video took three days to download off BitTorrent.  “I signed up to it. She’s gross.” Shane from Bacchus Marsh explained.  Penrith virgin and self-described “ladies man” Trent told The Waterton … Continue reading Supercars: Thirsty Boys Mock Renee Gracie While Simultaneously Signing Up To OnlyFans

Supercars: Renee Gracie’s Dad Happy To Finally See A Return On Investment

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Following the news that Renee Gracie has finally found something she’s good at (according to sources), her dad is reportedly “absolutely chuffed” that his strategy of dropping hundreds of thousands of dollars on Renee’s racing career over the years is finally paying off.  Speaking exclusively to basically every media outlet in Australia, the Gracie’s explained how Renee’s alleged … Continue reading Supercars: Renee Gracie’s Dad Happy To Finally See A Return On Investment

Supercars: Renee Gracie To Debut Most Expensive Rig In Final E-Series Round

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Following the news that former Supercars “driver” Renee Gracie has swapped mounting tyre barriers for mounting other rubber-clad protrusions, Supercars has apparently decided for reasons completely unrelated to Renee’s boobs that maybe it’s worth giving her a wildcard entry to next week’s final round of the BP Supercars All Stars E-Series.  Despite seeing her weekly earnings skyrocket from … Continue reading Supercars: Renee Gracie To Debut Most Expensive Rig In Final E-Series Round

Supercars: Clouds Gather Over Category As Half The Grid Sign Up To OnlyFans

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As if the category wasn’t already in massive trouble, things appear to have taken a turn for the even more FUBAR following the revelation that former Supergirl Renee Gracie is making a fxxkload more money than anyone in Supercars, albeit with a somewhat similar business model.  Following a racing “career” that consisted of not much more than a … Continue reading Supercars: Clouds Gather Over Category As Half The Grid Sign Up To OnlyFans

Supercars Prepares Fans For Future Of The Sport With Oval Races

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT The Supercars “organisation” has tonight used Round 9 of the BP Supercars All Stars E-Series to try to convince their remaining fans that oval racing is the future, in what some are saying is an attempt to soften the blow when the series eventually carks it sometime in the near future.  Despite having literally hundreds of virtual actual … Continue reading Supercars Prepares Fans For Future Of The Sport With Oval Races

Comrade Cindy Issues Decree: Anyone Who Dies “Definitely Died From COVID”

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Dictator of New Zealand Comrade Cindy has today announced via decree that from now on anyone that dies on her watch will automatically be classified as a victim of COVID-19, The Waterton Chronicle has learned.  The news comes as Cindy struggles to find legitimate reasons to control the population, following five days without a single new case of … Continue reading Comrade Cindy Issues Decree: Anyone Who Dies “Definitely Died From COVID”

Supercars: Jack Smith Learns “Revolutionary” New Cornering Technique

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Brad Jones Racing financier Jack Smith’s dad has revealed today that after spending a couple of hours in the simulator today, Jack has come up with a “revolutionary” new approach to driving ahead of tonight’s BP Supercars All Stars E-series round.  The news comes after Jack’s standard approach of hitting corner entries backwards drew some criticism from pretty … Continue reading Supercars: Jack Smith Learns “Revolutionary” New Cornering Technique

Supercars: McLaughlin Apologises For Saying What Everyone Was Thinking

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Bathurst (get over it) and two-time Supercars Champion Scott McLaughlin has today apologised for daring to say what everyone else was already thinking following another demolition derby effort from Jack Smith at last week’s BP Supercars All Stars Eseries event.  The incident unfolded after Jack Smith once again apparently decided that, in the absence of actual race pace, … Continue reading Supercars: McLaughlin Apologises For Saying What Everyone Was Thinking