F1: Lewis Hamilton Expecting “Adversity” At Silverstone Despite Being A Second Quicker Than Anyone Else

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Gravely oppressed and persecuted multi-millionaire rapper, fashion designer, tax evader, BLM protester, knee-taker, fxxker of supermodels and popstars, aspiring dictator and part time Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton has sought to further cement the idea that he is discriminated against by the Formula One establishment, with the multi-racial manchild claiming he’d be even quicker if he was white.  … Continue reading F1: Lewis Hamilton Expecting “Adversity” At Silverstone Despite Being A Second Quicker Than Anyone Else

Supercars: Parity Pelicans Testing Scotty McLaughlin For COVID Every Five Minutes

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As the relentless pursuit of finding ways to stop the best teams and drivers from offending everyone else by winning in what is supposed to be a competition continues, the pelicans allegedly running Supercars have come up with another strategy to give all the slow people a chance to feel good for a moment or two.  As DJR … Continue reading Supercars: Parity Pelicans Testing Scotty McLaughlin For COVID Every Five Minutes

Motorsport: Porsche Carrera Cup Introduces Compulsory Airbags Ahead Of Renee Gracie Re-Entry

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Ahead of Renee Gracie’s transition back from getting drilled to drilling walls again, the pelicans running motorsport in Australia have announced a new initiative aimed at ensuring everyone is equal, regardless of talent.  “What we realised with Renee turning up again, is that she might have an unfair advantage compared to the others in terms of safety in … Continue reading Motorsport: Porsche Carrera Cup Introduces Compulsory Airbags Ahead Of Renee Gracie Re-Entry

Renee Gracie Announces New Porsche Racing Team Name

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Following the news that Renee Gracie has decided to give hanging around the back of the field and randomly and often inexplicably sampling tyre barriers and concrete walls another crack, the OnlyFans star has today revealed the name of her new racing team.  In an apparent nod to the “roots” of the team, Gracie has revealed that her … Continue reading Renee Gracie Announces New Porsche Racing Team Name

Big Tits, Small Skills: How To Buy A Porsche In Three Days: The Inside Story Of Renee Gracie

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT In a Waterton Chronicle exclusive, we examine how former racing driver Renee Gracie transitioned from driving racing cars to getting drilled by randoms on camera for money and back again.  “Basically, I’ve made a shxt load of money on OnlyFans, despite the Indians trying to steal me for their own gain, so I did what anyone who enjoys … Continue reading Big Tits, Small Skills: How To Buy A Porsche In Three Days: The Inside Story Of Renee Gracie

Supercars: Nick Percat “Loving” The New Tyre Rules

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Following two race meetings in a row where Nick Percat won one race by running all his good tyres in one go, and then battled with the likes of Jack Smith for 20th place in the other two races, the BJR driver is for some reason a bit of a fan of Supercars’ efforts to artificially create ‘parity’ … Continue reading Supercars: Nick Percat “Loving” The New Tyre Rules

Supercars: Scott McLaughlin To Run Dodgy Cheap Retreads After Successful Parity Pelican Trial

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Following a successful weekend for Supercars’ Head of Outcomes Paulie the Parity Pelican, that saw the best driver/team pairing on the grid only win one race out of three, the giant seabird has announced tonight a new initiative to ensure “parity” in the former competition.  Speaking exclusively to The Waterton Chronicle, Paulie said the new initiative was all … Continue reading Supercars: Scott McLaughlin To Run Dodgy Cheap Retreads After Successful Parity Pelican Trial

Supercars: Paulie The Parity Pelican Hopes Scotty Fails COVID Test

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT With yet another race being won by that peskily-talented Penske driver Scott McLaughlin tonight, Head of Outcomes at Supercars, Paulie the Parity Pelican, is apparently becoming more and more skittish, and difficult to be around.  “It doesn’t make any sense. We tried everything under the sun to break that kid and stop him winning. And still he persists!” … Continue reading Supercars: Paulie The Parity Pelican Hopes Scotty Fails COVID Test

F1: Williams Alleges Ferrari Stole Design, Seeks Money

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT In a shocking turn of events, Williams F1 has apparently noticed similarities between it’s cars of the last few years and the 2020 Ferrari, and put two and two together to work out that Ferrari is obviously copying them.  “We noticed pretty early on that the car (the Ferrari) looked pretty shxt. Which led to us going back … Continue reading F1: Williams Alleges Ferrari Stole Design, Seeks Money

F1: “It’s A Ferrari!” Says Ferrari, “It’s A Sh*tbox!” Says Carlos Sainz

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As Ferrari continues to be fantastically slower than they were last year for “reasons”, but definitely not because they were cheating, Carlos Sainz Jr is apparently binge-watching the movie Rush in an attempt to learn how Niki Lauda managed to turn a sh*tbox Ferrari into something vaguely capable of resembling a proper racing car.  The current McLaren driver … Continue reading F1: “It’s A Ferrari!” Says Ferrari, “It’s A Sh*tbox!” Says Carlos Sainz