Supercars: Clouds Gather Over Category As Half The Grid Sign Up To OnlyFans

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As if the category wasn’t already in massive trouble, things appear to have taken a turn for the even more FUBAR following the revelation that former Supergirl Renee Gracie is making a fxxkload more money than anyone in Supercars, albeit with a somewhat similar business model.  Following a racing “career” that consisted of not much more than a … Continue reading Supercars: Clouds Gather Over Category As Half The Grid Sign Up To OnlyFans

Supercars Prepares Fans For Future Of The Sport With Oval Races

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT The Supercars “organisation” has tonight used Round 9 of the BP Supercars All Stars E-Series to try to convince their remaining fans that oval racing is the future, in what some are saying is an attempt to soften the blow when the series eventually carks it sometime in the near future.  Despite having literally hundreds of virtual actual … Continue reading Supercars Prepares Fans For Future Of The Sport With Oval Races

Comrade Cindy Issues Decree: Anyone Who Dies “Definitely Died From COVID”

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Dictator of New Zealand Comrade Cindy has today announced via decree that from now on anyone that dies on her watch will automatically be classified as a victim of COVID-19, The Waterton Chronicle has learned.  The news comes as Cindy struggles to find legitimate reasons to control the population, following five days without a single new case of … Continue reading Comrade Cindy Issues Decree: Anyone Who Dies “Definitely Died From COVID”

Supercars: Jack Smith Learns “Revolutionary” New Cornering Technique

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Brad Jones Racing financier Jack Smith’s dad has revealed today that after spending a couple of hours in the simulator today, Jack has come up with a “revolutionary” new approach to driving ahead of tonight’s BP Supercars All Stars E-series round.  The news comes after Jack’s standard approach of hitting corner entries backwards drew some criticism from pretty … Continue reading Supercars: Jack Smith Learns “Revolutionary” New Cornering Technique

Supercars: McLaughlin Apologises For Saying What Everyone Was Thinking

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Bathurst (get over it) and two-time Supercars Champion Scott McLaughlin has today apologised for daring to say what everyone else was already thinking following another demolition derby effort from Jack Smith at last week’s BP Supercars All Stars Eseries event.  The incident unfolded after Jack Smith once again apparently decided that, in the absence of actual race pace, … Continue reading Supercars: McLaughlin Apologises For Saying What Everyone Was Thinking

Supercars: Triple 8 Calls In The Big Guns To Help Out SVG.

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Triple 8 has well and truly rolled out the big guns ahead of tonight’s BP Supercars All Stars E-Series round at Circuit of the Americas, with sim racing legends Garth Tander and Craig Lowndes unleashed, in what team boss Roland Dane is calling a “guaranteed 1-2-3”.  “I mean, let’s face it, Jamie has struggled a bit.” Roland told … Continue reading Supercars: Triple 8 Calls In The Big Guns To Help Out SVG.

F1: Lewis Hamilton, 27 Other Drivers To Join Ferrari Next Year, Says Eddie Jordan

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT The crazy old grandad of F1 is at it again in his seemingly never ending quest to correctly guess who will replace Sebastian Vettel at Ferrari when the struggling driver eventually calls it a day.  Eddie Jordan has apparently spent most of his time in COVID-induced isolation thinking up as many ways as possible to get his name … Continue reading F1: Lewis Hamilton, 27 Other Drivers To Join Ferrari Next Year, Says Eddie Jordan

Supercars: Panelbeaters Everywhere Lobby For Actual Reverse Grid Races

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Panelbeaters across the Commonwealth are uniting to campaign for Supercars to introduce reverse grid races at every race of the actual, real life, Supercars championship, for “reasons”.  The Waterton Chronicle spoke to Waterton panelbeater Wayne Hammersmith (48) who explained that times have been tough.  “Times have been tough.” he explained.  “People aren’t driving their cars as much due … Continue reading Supercars: Panelbeaters Everywhere Lobby For Actual Reverse Grid Races

Supercars: “If I Don’t Do Quali, I Can’t Be Last” Says Marcos Ambrose

With the fourth round of the BP Supercars All Stars E-Series heading to e-America tonight, Marcos Ambrose is confident his strategy of just not turning up for qualifying will pay off, somehow.  Eyebrows were raised when Marcos was a no show in the qualifying session tonight, but the Tasmanian and massive Greg Murphy fan has cleared things up in a revealing couple of comments made … Continue reading Supercars: “If I Don’t Do Quali, I Can’t Be Last” Says Marcos Ambrose

Supercars: iRacing Fast-tracks “Streetfighter II Turbo” Minigame Ahead Of Ambrose Cameo

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Reports are coming in that iRacing has hastily integrated 90s classic “Streetfighter II Turbo” into the simulator, apparently in an effort to increase the realism ahead of Marcos Ambrose’s appearance in the BP Supercars All Stars E-Series tomorrow.  “When we were made aware late last week that Marcos (Ambrose) would be participating, we realised he would probably miss … Continue reading Supercars: iRacing Fast-tracks “Streetfighter II Turbo” Minigame Ahead Of Ambrose Cameo