Supercars: Head Of Supercars “Upbeat” As New Manufacturers Hinted

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Just as it was looking like Supercars might be destined to become The “Mustang” Cup, the pelicans running the series have apparently been thrown a lifeline overnight, with rumours swirling that several manufacturers are set to join Ford from 2021.  After taking a serious hit last year when Holden tried to pretend front wheel drive Opel’s were in … Continue reading Supercars: Head Of Supercars “Upbeat” As New Manufacturers Hinted

Comrade Cindy Contemplates Making Elections Illegal

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT In a sure sign that the people are about to get what they deserve, Prime Minister of New Zealand, global sweetheart, and recently single mum Jacinda Ardern has adopted what absolutely anyone with half a brain is calling “a bit of a weird strategy”.  Six weeks out from an election, the standard strategy of even the most questionable … Continue reading Comrade Cindy Contemplates Making Elections Illegal

WUT Closes Indefinitely After All Professors Cancelled

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As the entire western world busy’s itself with making sure no one offends anyone with old fashioned ideas like disagreeing with idiotic opinions in a civil manner instead of just setting fire to innocent people’s property, the equality continues to flow fast and free on campus at the Waterton University of Technology (WUT).  After a couple of incidents … Continue reading WUT Closes Indefinitely After All Professors Cancelled

F1: Lewis Hamilton Expecting “Adversity” At Silverstone Despite Being A Second Quicker Than Anyone Else

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Gravely oppressed and persecuted multi-millionaire rapper, fashion designer, tax evader, BLM protester, knee-taker, fxxker of supermodels and popstars, aspiring dictator and part time Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton has sought to further cement the idea that he is discriminated against by the Formula One establishment, with the multi-racial manchild claiming he’d be even quicker if he was white.  … Continue reading F1: Lewis Hamilton Expecting “Adversity” At Silverstone Despite Being A Second Quicker Than Anyone Else

Supercars: Parity Pelicans Testing Scotty McLaughlin For COVID Every Five Minutes

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As the relentless pursuit of finding ways to stop the best teams and drivers from offending everyone else by winning in what is supposed to be a competition continues, the pelicans allegedly running Supercars have come up with another strategy to give all the slow people a chance to feel good for a moment or two.  As DJR … Continue reading Supercars: Parity Pelicans Testing Scotty McLaughlin For COVID Every Five Minutes

Jacinda’s Approval Rating Hits An Unprecedented 526%, With A Little Help From Some Friends

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Despite dismally failing in all of her 2017 pre-election promises, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is somehow polling hundreds of percentage points above any of her opponents, in what kinda looks a bit like a banana republic being born.  The poll, which The Waterton Chronicle understands was conducted in a secret location, by invitation only, and with … Continue reading Jacinda’s Approval Rating Hits An Unprecedented 526%, With A Little Help From Some Friends

Motorsport: Porsche Carrera Cup Introduces Compulsory Airbags Ahead Of Renee Gracie Re-Entry

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Ahead of Renee Gracie’s transition back from getting drilled to drilling walls again, the pelicans running motorsport in Australia have announced a new initiative aimed at ensuring everyone is equal, regardless of talent.  “What we realised with Renee turning up again, is that she might have an unfair advantage compared to the others in terms of safety in … Continue reading Motorsport: Porsche Carrera Cup Introduces Compulsory Airbags Ahead Of Renee Gracie Re-Entry

Renee Gracie Announces New Porsche Racing Team Name

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Following the news that Renee Gracie has decided to give hanging around the back of the field and randomly and often inexplicably sampling tyre barriers and concrete walls another crack, the OnlyFans star has today revealed the name of her new racing team.  In an apparent nod to the “roots” of the team, Gracie has revealed that her … Continue reading Renee Gracie Announces New Porsche Racing Team Name

Big Tits, Small Skills: How To Buy A Porsche In Three Days: The Inside Story Of Renee Gracie

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT In a Waterton Chronicle exclusive, we examine how former racing driver Renee Gracie transitioned from driving racing cars to getting drilled by randoms on camera for money and back again.  “Basically, I’ve made a shxt load of money on OnlyFans, despite the Indians trying to steal me for their own gain, so I did what anyone who enjoys … Continue reading Big Tits, Small Skills: How To Buy A Porsche In Three Days: The Inside Story Of Renee Gracie

Kanye Deemed “More Sane” Than Trump Or Biden, WUT Study Finds

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As speculation continues to mount that years of dealing with the Kardashian/Jenner clan might have finally taken its toll on Kanye, an indepth Waterton University of Technology (WUT) study into the situation has revealed that the billionaire rapper might actually be “sane”, at least when compared to his main Presidential rivals.  The study, headed up by WUT Professor … Continue reading Kanye Deemed “More Sane” Than Trump Or Biden, WUT Study Finds