Dan Andrews Says “Everything Is Fine, Trust Me, Fellow Comrades”

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As Victoria continues to do absolutely nothing to dispel rumours that it may have become the “third system” in China’s ever-growing portfolio of “systems” around the world, Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has moved quickly to calm the peasants, in the hope that they’ll all just stay at home and stop being racist.  “My fellow Victorians, it is your … Continue reading Dan Andrews Says “Everything Is Fine, Trust Me, Fellow Comrades”

Supercars: “You Know I Won Bathurst?” Percat Tells Coulthard In Awkward BJR Uber Ride

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As the first actual race weekend in this brave new world came to a close at Sydney Motorsport Park this this afternoon, Fabian Coulthard found himself needing to order an Uber after his Mustang pulled a classic Ford move and broke down for no apparent reason at the end of the race. Poor old Fabs’ heart sunk when … Continue reading Supercars: “You Know I Won Bathurst?” Percat Tells Coulthard In Awkward BJR Uber Ride

Supercars: Jack Smith Continues Run Of Consistent Form In Supercars Return

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Supercars’ return to actual racing at Sydney Motorsport Park today saw Jack Smith continue to show how consistent he is in the category, with the alleged racing car driver somehow managing to maintain his ability to get lapped by most of the field despite months of time away that some thought might affect his ability to actually drive … Continue reading Supercars: Jack Smith Continues Run Of Consistent Form In Supercars Return

Jussie Smollett To Play Bubba Wallace In Upcoming Docudrama About Racist Knots

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT In a bid to keep building awareness about just how racist knots are, mediocre NASCAR driver Bubba Wallace has apparently started working on a hard-hitting feature-length docudrama that will, according to Bubba, “expose just how racist knots of all persuasions can be, but in an entertaining way.”.  The movie, set to be called Bubba Wallace: My Struggle With … Continue reading Jussie Smollett To Play Bubba Wallace In Upcoming Docudrama About Racist Knots

Jacinda Ardern Orders All Labour MPs To Immediately Get Prego As Popularity Dips

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As questions over what the fxxk is going on with the quarantine situation continue to be given the classic Jacinda “we can just dismiss” treatment, our glorious leader has today come up with what she thinks will be an election-winning strategy.  Following last night’s latest ‘Colmar Brunton We Definitely Asked 7 People And At Least 3 Were Not … Continue reading Jacinda Ardern Orders All Labour MPs To Immediately Get Prego As Popularity Dips

Supercars: BREAKING: Supercars To Merge With Stadium Super Trucks

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Following the news that Super2 drivers are actually going to have to deal with Super3 “drivers” like Hamish “The Rabbit” Ribarits on the same track at the same time, Supercars has tonight added fuel to the already well-charred remains of what used to be a motorsport category. Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican announced moments ago that … Continue reading Supercars: BREAKING: Supercars To Merge With Stadium Super Trucks

Premier Dan Andrews Starts OnlyFans Stream So Everyone Can Watch Him Fxxk Victoria

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT After watching Renee Gracie’s OnlyFans stream, Victorian Premier Dan Andrews saw an opportunity to make a bit of money on the side for the next election campaign while simultaneously giving everyone an opportunity to watch him personally fxxk every single Victorian, reports are suggesting.  According to sources, Chinese ambassador and occasional Premier, Dan “the Throbbing Member for Mulgrave” … Continue reading Premier Dan Andrews Starts OnlyFans Stream So Everyone Can Watch Him Fxxk Victoria

“I’m Only Responsible If It Makes Me Look Good” Says Jacinda

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As New Zealanders struggle to work out why we bothered staying at home and/or queue for hours for toilet paper and noodles for five weeks if the government is just going to let randoms infected with COVID-19 turn up and tiki tour around the North Island anyway, El Presidente Jacinda Ardern has explained what we all suspected.  “Yeah. … Continue reading “I’m Only Responsible If It Makes Me Look Good” Says Jacinda

“If You Want The Land, Just Take It, Put It On The Tab, It’s All Good”, Jacinda Says

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT As our glorious leader, El Presidente Jacinda Ardern, continues to pretend her Minister’s aren’t complete idiots, she’s gone with the tried and tested approach of solving a major fxxk-up by just throwing Chinese-sourced taxpayer debt at it.  The news comes after the government quietly announced today that instead of arresting a bunch of unemployed people who have been … Continue reading “If You Want The Land, Just Take It, Put It On The Tab, It’s All Good”, Jacinda Says

Supercars: “Steal Someone Else’s Bobs And Vagene Pics”, Gracie Tells Indians

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT Just when it looked like Renee Gracie had reached peak bogan, the former Supergirl has turned things up a notch or two with a rant about the entire country of India, and all Indian people.  Renee is a bit unhappy that some enterprising Indians have apparently stolen her bobs and vagene pictures and videos from her OnlyFans stream … Continue reading Supercars: “Steal Someone Else’s Bobs And Vagene Pics”, Gracie Tells Indians