Supercars: Pelicans Make Larko An Offer He Can’t Refuse

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

In what might be a sign that the giant pelicans running Supercars are starting to listen to the fans, in their own unique way of course, reports are coming in that they might have made Mark Larkham an offer. 

The Waterton Chronicle understands Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican called Larko today to outline the new plan. 

Our sources understand that Paulie’s offer to Larko involves the veteran driver, team owner and technical guru running a half-hour workshop with Charli from Hi-5 to teach the former cardboard box car driver and competent finger puppet maker the ins and outs of a lifetime of motorsport experience. 

“Yeah, look, we’ve definitely listened to the fans.” Paulie explained. 

“We’ve realised we were wrong to dump Larko so quickly without giving him a chance to help Charli learn some of the more technical elements of the sport, like what a pitlane is, and where to find the engine.” the giant seabird continued. 

Paulie told this reporter he’s confident Charli will transition into the role quickly. 

“I mean, how hard can it be? Plus she has boobs, and she can dance, and sort of sing.” he explained. 

This reporter understands Larko will receive a signed copy of Hi-5s complete boxed set as settlement. 

“595 episodes is a lot!” Paulie squawked.  

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