F1: Drivers To Don Burqa’s, Stone Some Rape Victims Pre-Race In Saudi Arabia

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

After spending all year campaigning to “end racism”, and making everyone feel like shxt for just wanting to spend a couple of hours on a Sunday free from politics so they can watch some racing cars, F1 money-grubs Liberty Media have done it again.

For reasons officially unknown, but unofficially kind of obvious, the Monopoly Men decided that the best way to hammer home their message of ‘equality for all’ is to take a giant pile of Saudi Arabian money in exchange for hosting a race weekend in arguably the human rights violation capital of the world. 

The Waterton Chronicle sent a reporter to investigate.

Speaking to Chief Monopoly Man, Chase Carey, this reporter asked what the link was between F1’s campaign for equality and signing a deal to host a race in Saudi Arabia. 

“Well, uh, it was pretty obviously just that the Saudi’s gave us a fxxkload of cash. Are you a bit slow?” Chase explained. 

When asked how F1 was planning to acknowledge the ‘culture and customs’ of Saudi Arabia, Chase didn’t hesitate. 

“Oh, we’ll be making sure there are no women or children present. And we’ll make sure all the  drivers wear full burqas for the pre-race ceremony, as a show of solidarity, y’know.” 

“The local Saudi princes are also suggesting we make a spectacle of some rape victims.” continued the Monopoly Man as he dived into a pool full of cash at one of his Californian mansions. 

This reporter sought comment from Lewis Hamilton, but his people said he was a bit busy posting pictures of himself and his dog on Instagram to deal with such petty things. 

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