Supercars: Piece Of “Hallowed” Bathurst Tarmac Sent To Florida

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

Reports are coming in that the pelicans running Supercars may have taken a leaf out of the AFL’s increasingly voluminous book of insanity, and dug up a piece of The Cutting at Bathurst to send to Florida ahead of Scotty’s debut in the Indycar Series. 

The news comes as Roger Penske all too predictably announced he’s fleeing the sinking ship, SS Supercars, before all the lifeboats are launched. 

The Waterton Chronicle spoke to Head of Parity, Paulie the Parity Pelican about the new initiative. 

“Yeah, look, we really liked the publicity the AFL got when they decided it was a good idea to ship a lump of dirt and grass from a stadium no one in Victoria is allowed anywhere near up to Brisbane. So woke. It honestly brought us all to tears.” Paulie explained. 

“Then when it was placed in almost the most irrelevant place possible at the Gabba, the  tears intensified.” the seabird continued. 

It did give the pelicans running the show an idea though, apparently. 

“We thought it would be a nice parting gift for Scotty, if we took the section of tarmac on the outside of The Cutting, where Jamie (Whincup) had his latest ‘hello darkness my old friend’ episode, and had it placed somewhere completely pointless at the St Petersburg circuit, just to y’know, remind Scotty what he’s left behind.” Paulie squawked.

This reporter understands the piece of ‘hallowed ground’ will be placed somewhere out the back of the paddock, in what the pelicans are calling a “prime position”. 

“There’s a good chance he might see it if he retires early in the race, which is obviously what we’re hoping for.”

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