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Reports are coming in that Victorian dictator Daniel Andrews has had a bit of a chuckle at the number of people his NSW counterpart Gladys Berejiklian has fxxked.
Speaking from the steps of his palace in Spring Street, Comrade Dan was asked about the controversy engulfing Gladys at the moment.
“Let me be clear. What Gladys has come up with is just amateur. I mean, only one person fxxked in a state of more than six million?! Those are rookie numbers.” explained the exalted leader of the Chinese outpost.
“I mean, if we look at my record for a moment, it’s pretty obvious I’ve managed to fxxk an entire state, whether that be directly or by proxy.”.
When asked for clarification on the “proxy” comment, Comrade Dan explained that he was referring to the hotel quarantine scheme that his government implemented, the government he is the leader of, where security guards thought it was a good idea to trade sex for visitation priveliges to go and see their mates.
“Yeah, let me be clear. While that wasn’t entirely ideal, it did help me utterly smash Gladys in terms of the sheer number of people that I’ve fxxked.” Dan explained.
“And the hilarious thing is she’s going down over fxxking one person. Imagine if she’d fxxked an entire state, LOL.” added the glorious dictator.