Supercars: Pit Lane Release Rules “Clarified” Following Whincup Debacle

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

As Tony Robinson and his Time Team archaeologists continue to dig, looking for the remains of the once great series, Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican, following instructions from Triple 8 boss Roland Dane, has clarified the rules and procedures around releasing cars in pit lane. 

Following the ruling during race 3 at the Darwin Triple Crown yesterday that apparently an unsafe release is not an unsafe release when Jamie Whincup does it, the squadron of absolute pelicans running the show have explained what other drivers need to do in future to accommodate the wishes of Jamie and, more importantly, Roland. 

“Basically, what we’re looking for is for everyone to just make sure that they don’t happen to be in pit lane at the same time as Jamie. And if they are, they need to just carry on down the pit lane and back onto the circuit and try again later so we don’t disturb Triple 8.” Paulie explained. 

“And they certainly shouldn’t be crossing that white line if Jamie is anywhere near pit lane. I would have thought this was basic stuff, but apparently not.” squawked the seabird. 

Paulie told this reporter that they’ll be watching carefully in Townsville to make sure no one impedes Whincup from doing whatever the fxxk he wants. 

“It’s crucial for the survival of the series.” Paulie explained, without a hint of irony.