F1: Lewis Hamilton Says COVID Mask Is “Oppressive, And A Bit Racist Man”

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

Six time Formula One World Champion, BLM enforcer, and fulltime virtue signaller Lewis Hamilton has apparently decided that he is more equal than any of the other people in the sport, and therefore can just take off his COVID mask any time he wants. 

The news comes following his Mercedes team’s decision to metaphorically bend Lewis’ teammate Valterri Bottas over and figuratively (some would say literally) screw the Finn out of what would have been a well-earned second place. 

Speaking to The Waterton Chronicle after the race, Lewis was happy the team he completely controls saw sense and let him finish ahead of his faster team mate on the day, by randomly changing the Finn and straight white male’s strategy mid-race. 

“Yeah man, they really understand the struggles I go through in life. Having Valtteri and Max (Verstappen) ahead of me and going faster than me really brought home the oppression I face as a member of the black community.” Lewis explained. 

“You must be smiling under that mask after forcing the team to screw over your teammate though?” this reporter asked. 

“Oh yeah man” Lewis explained, taking off his mask to reveal a beaming grin. 

“Err. Don’t we all have to wear these masks or the sport will get cancelled again Lewis?” this reporter asked. 

“Yeah we do, but I run the sport now, and if they punish me for not following the rules I’ll just call them all racist and equality will be restored!” Lewis explained.