Supercars: Paulie The Parity Pelican Hopes Scotty Fails COVID Test

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

With yet another race being won by that peskily-talented Penske driver Scott McLaughlin tonight, Head of Outcomes at Supercars, Paulie the Parity Pelican, is apparently becoming more and more skittish, and difficult to be around. 

“It doesn’t make any sense. We tried everything under the sun to break that kid and stop him winning. And still he persists!” Paulie was heard squawking out the back of the Supercars media trailer. 

Sources familiar with the situation have told The Waterton Chronicle that Paulie has apparently come up with quite the plan to stop Scotty ruining his whole parity mission. 

“We’ll be testing Scotty (McLaughlin) every ten minutes for the next 18 hours in the hope, obviously, that he tests positi.. I mean negative, for the safety of all of us.” Paulie explained. 

When this reporter asked if Paulie was testing any other drivers, Paulie was coy. 

“Why do you ask?” Paulie squeaked, defensively, cocking his head slightly to the left. 

“As if we’d bother testing others. Maybe if they start winning, we’ll test them, but at the moment, Scotty is our target.”. 

More to come.