F1: “Is Ferrari The New Williams?” Eddie Jordan Asks

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

As Formula 1 is only a couple of hours away from getting underway for the season proper, perennial idiot Eddie Jordan has once again popped his head up. 

Speaking from behind a mask of broken dreams and opportunities lost, the former team owner cum media commentator told The Waterton Chronicle he reckons no one will ever want to drive for Ferrari ever again after they turned up to today’s Austrian Grand Prix with a car that doesn’t break any technical regulations. 

“Imagine being Carlos Sainz right now.” Eddie explained. 

“The kid obviously will fulfil a dream by being a Ferrari driver, but after qualifying yesterday I’d bet he’s quite fond of the flightless kiwi bird (McLaren) right now, and not looking forward to taming the prancing donkey (Ferrari).” Eddie continued. 

In what Eddie is calling “inside knowledge”, but what the average F1 fan who’s followed the circus even casually would call “fxxking obvious”, the former team owner reckons maybe Ferrari might have been fast last year because they maybe might have been breaking some rules. 

“Yes. It’s quite likely”. Eddie explained. 

“It will be interesting to see how they go with the same amount of engine power as everyone else.”. 

“Good chance they’ll be fighting with Haas and Alfa Romeo to keep up with the Williams’.” Eddie added.