Mercedes F1 Team “Relishes Opportunity” To Return To Driving Around In Black, Telling Everyone What To Do.

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

As Formula One gets set to return to the track this weekend, Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 is reportedly “excited” at the prospect of having black cars once again driving around carrying people in black uniforms telling other people what to do. 

“We haven’t had an opportunity like this since around the mid-1930s. So we’re pretty excited really.” A spokesperson for Mercedes told The Waterton Chronicle. 

The spokesperson told this reporter it was “super convenient” that the team happened to have the same uniform supplier (Hugo Boss) as the last time they needed to deck out a well-trained and intensely loyal team at the request of a dictator with an idea. 

“Oh yeah, we’re lucky to have them onboard. They didn’t hesitate at all when we asked them to smash out a run of uniforms at short notice to placate Lewis.” the spokesperson explained. 

Meanwhile, Lewis has turned up to the once German-owned territory of Austria for this weekend’s Grand Prix wearing all black, and a gold-plated chain and padlock around his neck in an apparent attempt to show how tough life is for the Monaco tax haven resident. 

“Yeah man. Firstly I’d like to thank my fans.” Lewis told The Waterton Chronicle, in a creepily similar but entirely unintentional homage to the last time a dictator with an idea turned up in Austria in a black Mercedes.