Jussie Smollett To Play Bubba Wallace In Upcoming Docudrama About Racist Knots

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In a bid to keep building awareness about just how racist knots are, mediocre NASCAR driver Bubba Wallace has apparently started working on a hard-hitting feature-length docudrama that will, according to Bubba, “expose just how racist knots of all persuasions can be, but in an entertaining way.”. 

The movie, set to be called Bubba Wallace: My Struggle With Intolerant Knots, will see controversial story-teller Jussie Smollett star as Bubba, with the allegedly talented actor’s experience in pretending to be the victim of racism, causing an absolute media shxtstorm, and then looking like a giant turkey when it turned out to be all completely made up, apparently resonating with Bubba. 

“Yeah. Jussie was an obvious choice really, after what he went through.” Bubba explained. 

The Waterton Chronicle was shown an early draft of the script, and dagnabbit doesn’t it just have ‘Oscar-winner’ written all over it in this brave new world. 

The story charts Bubba’s rise from lowly son of millionaire parents, the adversity he faced when faster drivers finished ahead of him in races, right through to his realisation that knots are racist, and they’re the reason he’s not very good at racing cars. 

“I don’t care if it’s just a handle to make it easier to pull up the garage door, and I don’t care if it’s been here for years! It’s definitely meant to hurt me personally, and Imma tweet about it!” Jussie (as Bubba) screeches in a particularly emotional scene, with tears rolling down his face.  

This reporter asked Bubba if it is just nooses that he is upset by. 

“Nah man. Reefknots, Bowlines, Half Hitches. And don’t even get me started on Granny Knots. They all discriminate against someone if you look hard enough.” he explained.