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Following the news that Super2 drivers are actually going to have to deal with Super3 “drivers” like Hamish “The Rabbit” Ribarits on the same track at the same time, Supercars has tonight added fuel to the already well-charred remains of what used to be a motorsport category.
Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican announced moments ago that “due to COVID-19, and definitely not because we fxxked the series by focusing on petty parity rules rather than the racing, and scared away quality manufacturers in the process”, the series will merge with the hilariously more entertaining Stadium Super Trucks.
The Waterton Chronicle understands the plan is the result of one of the junior pelicans at Supercars watching a few episodes of “Enforcer and The Dude” on Youtube.
“Yeah. One of our younguns said Russell (Ingall) and Paul (Morris) actually have some good ideas regarding how to fix this absolute clusterfxxk, I mean.. ‘world-class series’.” Paulie the absolute Pelican explained.
Paulie went on to explain that rather than making the category more attractive to potential newcomers, he’s of the opinion that it’d just be easier to keep merging support categories into the main game until there’s no one left to merge and he can just go home and chill.
“Yeah.” he agreed.
Triple 8 boss Roland Dane told this reporter he’s disappointed with where the sport is heading.
“We’ve had enough issues with suspension failure this season, and now they want us to actually do jumps?!” he sobbed.
“And we’ll need to update the rules regarding overtaking while flying through the air.