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After watching Renee Gracie’s OnlyFans stream, Victorian Premier Dan Andrews saw an opportunity to make a bit of money on the side for the next election campaign while simultaneously giving everyone an opportunity to watch him personally fxxk every single Victorian, reports are suggesting.
According to sources, Chinese ambassador and occasional Premier, Dan “the Throbbing Member for Mulgrave” Andrews spent “considerable hours” watching Renee’s “content” and decided if he was going to fxxk the entire state of Victoria, he may as well make some money in the process.
“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.” Dan told The Waterton Chronicle.
The throbbing member went on to explain that he actually started the process of comprehensively fxxking over the average hard-working Victorian when he allowed a bunch of COVID-infected protestors to spread the supposedly “deadly” virus amongst themselves so they could signal their virtues about a death on the other side of the planet.
“Yeah look, I’ve proven throughout this whole COVID thing that I’m pretty good at fxxking people. I’ve so far fxxked all sorts of different people, from big businesses right down to people just trying to find a job to survive.” Dan explained.
“The only ones I won’t fxxk are the virtue-signallers to be honest. They’re a bit scary. They yell a lot. And it’s not like they have jobs anyway.” added the throbbing member for Mulgrave.
In an attempt to differentiate his OnlyFans stream from Renee’s, Dan apparently plans to fxxk every single Victorian all at once, rather than the one poor bastard Renee demolished.
More to come.