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With only a couple of weeks to go before the actual circus that is Supercars makes its return to the real world at Sydney Motorsport Park, the so-called “organisation” has announced a new plan to ensure “parity” is achieved, should the need arise.
The initiative, sponsored by OnlyFans, will see a number of life-size cutouts of former Supergirl Renee Gracie, taken directly from her OnlyFans stream, placed around the 4.5km circuit, with the plan apparently being to, ahem, erect the extremely “detailed” pictures every time a DJR Team Penske car goes past, in an apparent bid to ensure ‘parity’ is restored should the Penske cars be leading at any point.
Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican told The Waterton Chronicle that the plan came as a result of watching Renee’s videos “purely for research purposes”.
“While we definitely want to distance ourselves from Renee, we also really enthusiastically felt we all had to watch the videos together to make sure we were abreast of the specific content, so that we could make the best possible decisions as a team.” Paulie explained.
The new plan comes as previous attempts to slow down the Team Penske cars were a bit of a failure, with Scott McLaughlin winning the last two championships and Bathurst last year, despite numerous attempts to slow the team down.
“Yeah, look, some of our parity initiatives haven’t gone entirely to plan, but we’re pretty confident the bobs and vagene approach will distract the Penske boys enough to give the rest of the field a chance.” squawked the seabird.
More to come.