Clementine Ford Solves Gender Pay Gap

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Renowned lover of men, especially middle-class white ones, Clementine Ford, has  apparently single handedly completely solved the gender pay gap issue over the weekend. 

In what absolutely no one is describing as “uncharacteristic behaviour”, Clemmy went on a massive Twitter rant about how not enough white men are dying from COVID-19. 

The ensuing dumpster fire revealed that far from finding such opinions even just a little bit disturbing, the Victorian Government actually likes the idea so much it’s giving old Clemmo thousands of dollars to continue vomiting up what they optimistically describe as “art”, courtesy of taxpayers. 

The Waterton Chronicle asked the Victorian Minister of Diversity, Acceptance & Propaganda, Comrade Penelope Whiteman-Badd, whether she honestly thought it was OK to pay someone to advocate for the death and suffering of a particular gender/race group. 

“In this case, yes absolutely!” Penelope explained, gleefully. 

“Like, sure, if she was talking about any other race or gender, like, we’d completely disown her and call her a fascist and stuff. But she’s only suggesting white males should die, so it’s completely fine, hehe.” she added. 

Comrade Penny went on to explain that she is “in awe” of Clementine’s “massive intellect”. 

“Clem has single handedly solved the gender pay gap issue. The solution was staring us all in the face for so long, but until now none of us really got it.” Penny explained. 

“We were all thinking that maybe if women got into higher paying jobs, or just gave up on the whole having babies thing, that might help a bit. How wrong were we?!” she chuckled. 

Comrade Penny went on to explain that it turns out that the easiest way to solve the gender pay gap is if every woman just gives up on their actual job and starts blogging about how all white men are evil, the Victorian Government will give them thousands of dollars of free money. 

“Simples!” Penny explained.