“What Pay Cut? Oh That Silly Thing.” Says Jacinda

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

Almost two months after the ACT Party proposed a 20% pay cut for all MPs amid this COVID chaos, and El Presidente Jacinda immediately stole the idea, MPs are still on full pay. 

The Waterton Chronicle sent in an investigative team to find out why. 

Despite attempts to “dismiss” questions from the media about what exactly she’s up to, our somewhat observant journalists somehow managed to get close to Jacinda’s bubble long enough to ask a couple of questions. 

This reporter asked Jacinda why her government refused to allow David Seymour to introduce the pay cut bill, in light of the fact she went globally viral for being such “a great leader” after her announcement that she would reduce MPs pay by 20%. 

“Oh. Do you need a hug? I mean I feel like me giving you a hug will help me. Come on.” she insisted. 

“Don’t worry about this silly pay cut thing, the people love me, none of it even matters. If they ask difficult questions, we can just dismiss.” Jacinda explained, mid hug. 

“I’m really not sure what the big deal is with this democracy stuff. Like all you have to do if someone argues with you is dismiss it. And if that doesn’t work, you just make a law that means you can arrest them. Simples!” she added, with a chuckle.