Waterton Office Worker Has Friday Drinks By Himself

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

A Waterton man has just cracked open his fourth stubbie of the evening so far and resigned himself to yet another night of making sure he doesn’t get too toasted just in case the police turn up looking for someone to fine, reports suggest. 

Sales manager Jeremy Cock-Head (31) told The Waterton Chronicle it was really important for his own self-love and LinkedIn skill endorsements that institutions such as Friday afternoon drinks “with the team” continue amid the COVID-19 lockdown, “whether the team is here or not”. 

Jeremy, who has forged what he tells himself is a lucrative career in junior middle management, is apparently determined not to let the imminent collapse of the entire Waterton economy get in the way of either his massive drinking problem or a perfect score in the “Team Morale & Leadership” component of his next performance review. 

“I’m winning at life. Are you a winner, mate?” Jeremy asked this reporter.