NRL: Israel Folau Not Such A Dick After All, Says Broke NRL

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

In a developing story, the somehow basically bankrupt NRL organisation has today decided that former “most divisive personality of the modern era” Israel Folau is actually not as much of a dick as everyone said he is as the league flails around desperately trying to distract everyone from the whole “where the fxxk has all the money gone” thing. 

Peter the Pennypincher Pelican (a cousin of Paulie the Parity Pelican) told The Waterton Chronicle he “can’t recall” where all the money has gone, but he’s “super excited at the prospect of getting Izzie back”. 

“Meh. Pretty much the entire playing group across the entire league shares his views.” Peter said, when this reporter asked about Folau’s somewhat controversial tweets about his imaginary friend’s followers interpretation of his opinions on gay marriage. 

“But that’s all in the past now that we’ve run out of money.” Peter squawked, sheepishly.

“We’re already trying to convince Channel 9 to just calm down a little bit, with the same sort of ideas we came up with when Jarryd (Hayne) came back. We reckon “Izzie-Cam” has a bit of a ring to it.” the giant pelican explained. 

More to come.