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Following his win at e-Barber Motorsports Park in the IndyCar Eseries the other day, an investigation was apparently launched by Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican, with the aim being to make Scotty feel bad for winning.
According to sources familiar with the situation, the pelicans running Supercars don’t want Scotty getting too used to winning races, as that would apparently make him more likely to try to beat Triple 8 in the upcoming iRacing E-Series, and, god help us, the actual series if it ever happens again.
“We’ve simply got too much riding on this old donkey. We literally can’t afford it if Triple 8 doesn’t win at this point.” Paulie explained, alarmingly.
The Waterton Chronicle understands Scotty will issue a formal apology to Supercars early tomorrow morning, with the two-time champion and Bathurst winner (get over it) apparently set to promise to not to beat Triple 8 unless it’s absolutely impossible to avoid.
“Yeah, look, the chances of them ruining their own race are pretty high, so we’ll probably still win to be honest.” a spokesperson for Team Penske explained.