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As the Victorian government continues to positively froth at the mouth over the powers bestowed upon its members as a result of the coronavirus, it seems the regime is leaving no stone unturned in it’s campaign to ensure that as many of the lowly peasants as possible are found to have breached something.
With the whole fining people for being in consensual adult relationships thing not going quite as well as Supreme Leader Daniel Andrews had hoped, focus has shifted to extorting money out of a group slightly smaller than “basically every unmarried adult”.
Comrade Dan told The Waterton Chronicle he had come up with the idea of fining people for watching Esports online from the comfort of their own homes after deciding that the real aim of the lockdown is to stop people doing things they like to do.
“Basically we’re a bit worried that our efforts to control the whole soviet, I mean state, are being hampered by people who have found other ways to not be miserable.” Dan explained.
“We found quite a few of them were a bit sad after the Melbourne Grand Prix weekend was cancelled, and have found some enjoyment from watching Esports online.”.
“This is frankly unacceptable behaviour. I saw a YouTube video the other day saying that the virus can now be transmitted online, which is good news really, because now we can fine people for doing anything remotely fun.” Dan explained, with a cackle.