International Student Not Keen To Sell AMG-Mercedes, “Better If Aussie Taxpayer Helps Me”

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

A Waterton University of Technology (WUT) medical student has told his parents back home he doesn’t really want to sell the Mercedes, and that it’d be better for him if Australian taxpayers could give him some free cash instead.

Jimmy Tran, an aspiring neuro-surgeon, told his mum he likes the car too much to sell it, and it would “disrespect his honour” if he had to drive anything with a retail value below $200,000. 

Jimmy was doing fine before all the Coronavirus drama, working 60 hours or more a week for cash under the table at local restaurant The Golden Pangolin, as well as running a thriving methamphetamine precursor importation business on the side. 

However with both restaurants and the border closed due to COVID-19, Jimmy is fast burning through the pile of cash he keeps under the floorboards of his bedroom. 

“What am I supposed to do? I only have $300,000 left?!” he shrieked to his mum and dad during their weekly WeChat catchup. 

“They’re paying Kiwis, even if they’re lowly peasant workers! They should be paying me too!” he added. 

“Alright. Alright! Calm down! I’ll see what I can do.” said his dad.