Kiwis Definitely Not Using Dob In Your Neighbour Service To Settle Old Scores

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

Supreme Leader Jacinda Ardern has today said that despite the Police’s new “Dob in your neighbour” website being overloaded with ‘complaints’ a few hours after its launch, it’s “definitely not being used inappropriately.”. 

The news comes as thousands of Kiwis jumped on the website within minutes of it’s announcement, keen to get their neighbours in trouble with the cops and finally settle in some cases decades-old disputes. 

Waterton old codger Trevor told this reporter he’d already logged 18 complaints this morning, but that he’s “got a few more up me sleeve.”. 

“I started with the young family next door last night. I saw the husband put his foot on the footpath near the letterbox yesterday afternoon!” Trevor explained. 

“Then I’m pretty sure I heard through Deirdre down the road that Colin over the back fence that I had the argument with over me fence line a few years back had let someone in his house, so I sent a complaint about him.”. 

“Then I remembered thinking I saw Shirley up the road who complained about me dog in 2003 walking some mutt. So I sent a complaint about her of course.” he added with a chuckle. 

“It’s keeping me busy.”.