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The once proud tradition among Supercars fans everywhere of claiming the other side sucked more than the marque they supported has been well and truly laid to rest today, as the COVID-19-induced ban on real life forces people to argue on social media about new and equally pointless things.
While most arguments during the 2019 season were between Ford fans claiming “there was definitely debriss (sic) somewhere on the track” and Holden fans claiming “Ford means ‘Found On Rubbish Dump’ reee!”, the shift to online racing has seen what were already pointless arguments become even more pointless.
The battle lines for Supercars have now shifted from who has the biggest theoretical dick as a direct result of the team they support, to who has the biggest theoretical dick as a direct result of which racing car game they play.
And, like any social media argument, this one seems likely to settle absolutely nothing aside from who is the biggest dick in any particular argument, albeit with the added spice of delusional Forza Motorsport and Gran Turismo fans calling themselves “sim racers”.
The Waterton Sports Chronicle spoke to avid Forza Motorsport “racer” Brock (14) (gamertag PoLeSiTter69) to see if he had any advice for the real life drivers in the lead up to Supercars E-Series.
“Oh, bro, it’s not that hard really. I normally just start the race by crashing into everyone in front of me and if anyone tries to pass me I just punt them off into the wall.” he explained.
When asked about the difference between iRacing, Assetto Corsa, Forza and Gran Turismo, Brock was adamant the Forza setup his mum bought him for Christmas is the best.
“It’s actually really realistic bro. Way better than iRacing.” he explained, gesturing toward the steering wheel mounted on his mum’s coffee table.
Brock went on to explain that his main issue with iRacing is that VTEC does “fxxk all”.
“It’s just not realistic enough for me bro.”.