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Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican has vowed to “leave no stone unturned” and that the organisation “will get to the bottom of” how exactly Scott McLaughlin managed to finish P4 in this morning’s opening round of the IndyCar E-Series at E-Watkins Glen.
The giant pelican told The Waterton Sports Chronicle it “simply doesn’t add up” that McLaughlin was able to mix it with proper IndyCar drivers like Will Power and Simon Pagenaud.
“There’s definitely something going on. I mean for one he’s a Kiwi, so really he should be a bit slow anyway. And more importantly he’s not a Triple 8 driver, so we really don’t understand how he can be so fast.” squawked the seabird.
Paulie explained that he has commenced an investigation into the result, with the outcome expected to be that Supercars will find McLaughlin guilty of being just genuinely better at driving racing cars than Triple 8, an offence that carries with it a mandatory 400 place grid penalty for the upcoming Supercars E-Series event at E-Phillip Island and the stripping of all championship points.
Paulie became a bit skittish when this reporter asked how the points deduction would work, given the series hasn’t started yet.
“Fxxk I don’t know mate, we’ll just put him in negative points I guess?!” he screeched.