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With the joke that we ran last week now confirmed as actually kind of not a joke after all, and Supercars announcing earlier today that actual racing will in fact be replaced by online racing, the “organisation” has this afternoon announced a raft of what it’s calling “parity measures” to be applied to Scott McLaughlin apparently in an effort to “maintain realism between the real world and the virtual world”.
Supercars Head of Parity Paulie the Parity Pelican was unusually keen to speak to The Waterton Sports Chronicle when we called him, possibly in light of not having much to do over the last few weeks.
“Yeah mate, it’s been a rough few weeks without being able to randomly apply parity to Team Penske, but we’re back in business baby!” he told this reporter.
Paulie explained that while the Eseries itself will attempt to be as realistic as possible, with most drivers able to run simulator versions of their actual racing cars, McLaughlin will be required, should he choose to enter, to run the entry-level Mazda MX5, complete with further adjustments to centre of gravity and downforce.
“We’re not taking any chances this time. We know Scotty’s pretty good at iRacing so we’re just trying to be proactive in making sure he doesn’t win, really.” squawked the seabird.
Paulie also explained that they’ll be locking down all the settings and engine adjustments, “to avoid a repeat of the messy ‘debriss! debriss!’ and valve lift issues we saw at Bathurst last year.
“If he wants to win, he’s gonna have to ring the sxxt out of that little Mazda!” said Paulie with a cackle.