Supercars: Entire Parity Situation Solved, Says Mark Skaife

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Amid the continuing hysteria surrounding coronavirus, and as the global death rate surpasses 0.00006% Supercars has tonight apparently taken the media-friendly step of banning both the Mustang and the Opel, sorry, the “Holden”, and replacing them with a state-of-the-art sim rig designed specifically for Triple 8 by Mark Skaife and Adrian Burgess. 

“We’ve come up with a solution that means the Supercars championship can continue uninterrupted into the future. How good is that?!” Skaife explained, in comments that sounded a bit similar to what he said about Car Of The Future a few years ago and Gen 3 more recently. 

Skaife told The Waterton Sports Chronicle Supercars has come up with a “buy back” scheme whereby teams will hand over their actual racing cars in return for sim rigs designed to fit seamlessly into drivers’ living rooms. 

The rigs will also feature a remotely controlled kill switch which Skaife said was only to be utilised should Triple 8 find themselves not winning at any stage. 

“It certainly removes the need for all these messy stewards inquiries and other related malarkey.” he explained. 

“In future, if Triple 8 aren’t winning a race we’ll just disconnect the others, and it’s problem solved!” explained the suspected pelican.