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After running a “flawless and determined” campaign over the last few months, the world’s news media has emerged victorious at the Australian Grand Prix this morning.
The victory is even more impressive considering the news media team shunned the more traditional approach taken by most teams, with the possible exception of Williams F1, of entering actual racing cars in the event.
World News Media tyrant Rupert Murdoch told The Waterton Sports Chronicle he was “reasonably happy” with the win.
“Yeah look, we ran an unconventional campaign, which we weren’t really sure would actually work, but it seems like we managed to scare enough people with all this coronavirus hysteria that they all packed up and went home.” Murdoch explained.
Murdoch told this reporter he was a bit concerned people might not be scared enough with the global death rate only just approaching 0.00006%.
“But then we figured we’d just not mention that bit in our 24/7 campaign of hysteria.” he cackled.
2020 is looking like it’ll be a huge year for the global news media, with similar victories likely in MotoGP, NBA, NHL, European Football, English Premier League, AFL, NRL, Cricket, and of course the Tokyo Olympics.
“Yeah, it’s going to be a good year.” Rupert said, rubbing his hands together with glee.