QANTAS CEO Somehow Managing To Survive Until July On Just $16 Million

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

As the hysteria around Coronavirus continues, QANTAS CEO Alan Joyce has today announced that he will be “slumming it” for the rest of the financial year as he works “for free”. 

The immense act of virtue-signalry comes after a sustained media campaign to scare the shxt out of everyone in the hope that they’ll just stay at home and mind their own business has taken its toll on the airline’s bottom line. 

“Yeah look, it’s fair to say the wall-to-wall news media stories telling everyone they’re all going to die if they go outside has had a bit of an impact on the travel industry” Joyce told The Waterton Daily Chronicle. 

“So I decided I’ll do my bit by making do with just the $460,000 I’ve taken home every week so far in FY20.” 

Joyce told this reporter he was “doing OK” as day two of the new level of poverty was coming to a close, but he was really leaning on the advice of one of his mates. 

“Yeah, my mate Bryan is Director of Baggage Handling, and he’s only on like $5 million a year or something, so he’s been giving me advice on how to survive each day.” the embattled CEO explained.