Supercars Investigating Why Scott McLaughlin Hasn’t Mounted Any Footpaths As Parity Pelicans Get Fidgety

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

With the second round of the Supercars championship approaching a lot faster than Team Sydney would like, Supercars has today announced another investigation into championship leader Scott McLaughlin, and this time they’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel. 

Looking increasingly worried that his job might be on the line sometime soon as Scotty continues to swat away efforts to give “Holden” wins,  Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican told The Waterton Sports Chronicle that after consultation with some legal eagles, the “organisation” may have found a way to have another crack at penalising the Mustangs to the point that they just stop trying. 

“Basically, we got to thinking about all the times Mustangs have tried to drive fast and have ended up accidentally heading off into a nearby forest or footpath or whatever.” explained Paulie. 

“Then we compared footage of those incidents with footage and telemetry from the #17 car and we’re of the belief that Scotty must be running some sort of crowd/tree avoidance system, which obviously is against the rules.”. 

Paulie went on to explain that they’re “pretty sure” they’ve got a solid case this time. 

“There’s just no way someone can drive a Mustang that fast without mounting something at some point.” squawked the seabird.