F1: “Nothing To See Here” Says FIA After Ferrari Shouts Morning Coffees

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

Reports are coming in this morning that Ferrari has made the whole cheating thing they were accused of completely disappear this morning by generously shouting everyone at FIA headquarters their morning coffee. 

The “settlement” comes following a thorough three minute investigation by the FIA into allegations Ferrari’s massive speed advantage towards the end of last year was achieved by blatantly breaking the rules. Luckily, Ferrari happens to be the only team that’s allowed to break the rules to win, because, you know, Ferrari. 

FIA President and former Ferrari boss Jean Todt said he was “extremely happy” with the outcome of the investigation and the teams “incredibly generous” settlement offer. 

“What more do you want us to do? It was only a little bit of cheating. And anyway, Ferrari can do what they like.” Todt explained as he sipped on his soy latte. 

Meanwhile, the non-Ferrari affiliated teams are evidently not happy with the settlement, with a joint statement released this morning expressing their disappointment and threatening legal action if more isn’t done. 

“Where’s my coffee?!” asked Claire Williams.

“How rude!”.