Paulie Strikes Back: Team Penske Cops Engine “Adjustment”

Bryan Firebrand | Chief Editor | CONTACT

After having his credentials as a genuine Parity Pelican brought into question when Scotty McLaughlin won the opening Supercars round at Adelaide over the weekend, Paulie the Parity Pelican has had about enough of this whole Team Penske winning thing. 

Speaking to The Waterton Sports Chronicle earlier today, Paulie explained what Supercars is doing to ensure the “unfortunate victory for Team Penske” doesn’t happen again. 

“Yeah, I really don’t know what they (Team Penske) think they’re playing at. They’re making us look really silly and it’s frustrating myself and my team of parity pelicans something special.” squawked the seabird. 

“So we’ve had a bit of a think about how we can sort out this parity stuff once and for all. It is with great pleasure that I can confirm that we’re plucking the plugs out of cylinder 4 on the Team Penske cars, so from Melbourne onwards, they’ll be running on seven cylinders. Cop that!” he cackled, frighteningly. 

Team Penske boss Ryan Story seemed unfazed when we asked for his thoughts. 

“I mean, Triple 8 should probably make sure they put enough fuel in their cars and keep the wheels attached before they worry about how many cylinders we’re running.” he said with a chuckle.