Supercars Announces New Parity Measure After Holden Pulls The Plug

Following the news that surprised almost no one, that the Holden brand is finally being put out it’s misery after years of flailing around like a baby bird the cat caught but isn’t quite ready to kill yet, Supercars has acted swiftly to make sure the development doesn’t make it any easier for a Ford to win anything. 

Speaking from Tailem Bend, where he is looking for reasons to penalise Team Penske, Paulie the Parity Pelican told The Waterton Sports Chronicle that while he and his team of pelicans are “shocked” by the news, they’ve already come up with the perfect way to ensure parity is not affected once Holden leaves. 

“Oh we’ll just get rid of the Fords too.” he explained. 

“That way we can ensure absolute parity is achieved.”. 

When asked if there were any plans to introduce new manufacturers to the series, which currently only involves Ford and Holden, Paulie seemed disinterested. 

“Look, we’re not really worried about the future of the series at the moment. The main thing for us is making sure we make it as hard as possible for Team Penske to win.” squawked the seabird.