In breaking news, Triple 8 has announced that Jamie Whincup will be driving their much maligned Sandman Ute project car at Adelaide.
The news comes after Head of Supercars Paulie the Parity Pelican spent all of last season trying to give Triple 8 something to celebrate.
“Yeah look it didn’t go to plan to be honest.” explained the seabird.
“But at least this time we’ll.. I mean Triple 8… will win it.” he continued.
Paulie went on to explain to The Waterton Sports Chronicle that he is so confident they have “resolved the parity issues” so successfully that the team is confident enough to run a ute over the race weekend, safe in the knowledge that even if they aren’t winning on Day One, they sure as hell will be by Sunday afternoon.
“And look, if we don’t win, we’ll just have a whinge to Paulie and his team about it. So it’s good times all around really.” added Jamie.