Heir to the throne First Baby Neve has today completely solved the Ihumatao land occupation problem by just telling the land occupiers that they can stay there, according to reports received by The Waterton Daily Chronicle.
Speaking from the scene of the illegal land occupation, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said she was incredibly proud of her daughter.
“It’s just so amazing how switched on the kids are these days I mean first we had Greta successfully blaming the massive bushfire crisis in Australia on climate change and managing to make people completely ignore all the reports about arson, and now my little darling Neve Aroha has single-handedly made these people happy by coming up with the idea to just use taxpayers money to pay the landowners to leave so that that the protestors can stay here.”.
When this reporter asked if that might result in protestors occupying more private land in the hope that the government would cave again, Supreme Leader Ardern was indifferent.
“Meh. Maybe? Who even cares really? I mean I’ll be in New York by the end of the year anyway. It’s not all about New Zealand you know.” she hissed.