F1: Chinese Grand Prix Moved To Christmas Island Amid Corona-Virus Fears

With basically all of China on Christmas Island in an entirely different kind of island occupation, the FIA has today announced that the Chinese Grand Prix will now take place on a hastily set up track utilising the runway and several taxiways. 

Thankfully, for those that enjoy watching a race with no chance of anyone passing anyone else, Herman Tilke was flown in to preside over the track build, with his expert knowledge ensuring that F1 fans around the world will continue to get the required amount of daily sleep. 

Head of F1 The Monopoly Man told The Waterton Sports Chronicle his main concern is really just how many people buy tickets. 

“Look, I’m not really worried about how good the racing is. My main concern is getting people to turn up. And there’s a lot of Chinese people on Christmas Island right now, with a lot of money and not much to spend it on, so why not give it to me.” he explained.

Luckily there won’t be any coronavirus fears at the event because literally everyone involved is in quarantine.