Roland Dane Donates Tears Collected Since Bathurst Loss To Bushfire Relief

After having a massive cry every single day since losing Bathurst last year, Triple 8 boss Roland Dane has this morning announced that the whole lot has been donated to the bushfire effort in New South Wales and Victoria. 

The news does appear to explain the current flood situation, with towns that were burning only last week now under six feet of water. 

“Yeah, there were a lot of tears.” said a spokesperson. 

The Waterton Sports Chronicle understands the donation amounts to “billions of tears” or around 20,000 olympic-sized swimming pools. 

“To be honest there’s more tears than know what to do with” said a government spokesperson. 

The spokesperson went on to explain that they would have donated the excess tears to local farmers and maybe even sold off a few million to the Chinese but the salt content was “off the charts”.