Brisbane Archbishop Not Keen On Kids Being Able To Go To Cops For Some Reason

For some unknown reason the head of the Catholic Church in Brisbane doesn’t want members of his flock telling outsiders about what goes on, clearly because an institution like the Catholic Church, with such an exemplary record on issues such as child rape and sodomy has absolutely nothing to worry about if they have to legally report sex crimes. 

The Waterton Daily Chronicle spoke to a lowly candle hustler outside Brisbane’s Cathedral of The Holy Defiler this morning. 

“Mate, he’s pretty agitated to be fair.” said Crispin. 

“He doesn’t really understand what the big deal is with stopping people talking to non-Catholics about stuff that Catholics did to them when they were probably too young to even remember anyway.”. 

Crispin was about to go into a bit more detail when a giant fat man wearing half a wizard’s costume emerged from the Cathedral and insisted the young man accompany him back inside, with his candles. 

“Very good punishment for you.” the wizard was heard mumbling to the candle boy.