With a look sure to be popular with house-invading “troubled” teens of government-mandated unspecified ethnicity, Nike has addressed the growing air quality issues in the qualifying rounds of the Australian Open by launching a new range of stylish face masks.
“When we saw Bernard Tomic choking in a literal sense, rather than the usual self-inflicted metaphoric sense, we knew we needed to do something” said Nike Australia PR manager Chanel Everlast.
“Truth be told, we’re just relaunching a product we sell off the shelf daily in China. But hey, if it gets a few more sales we’ll have a crack at it”.
It remains to be seen how many players will adopt the new uniform, but this reporter is quietly hoping for at least a couple of Nolan-era Bane quotes.
More to come as the asthmatic action continues from Melbourne Park today.