“But What Was He Doing For the Bushfires?” Says Some Idiot

As it seems more and more likely every day that Scotty McLaughlin will leave the poorly written soap opera that is Supercars these days in search of something resembling actual racing, so-called “fans” have had a crack at the 2x champion and Bathurst winner overnight, after Scotty decided for some reason to take up the opportunity of a test run in a Team Penske IndyCar. 

“Why would he even do that but?” said Kayne from Bacchus Marsh. 

Upon further investigation, it turns out Kayne is unhappy that Scotty might leave Supercars, and Australia. 

“My mum says he should just stay here and do a bit more for the bushfire thing yeah” Kayne elaborated. 

Kayne went on to explain that he doesn’t really get why anyone would want to leave Straya. 

“I mean, we’ve got a Bottle-O, a Pub, a footy oval, running water, electricity most of the time..” he explained. 

When this reporter pointed out that Scotty had donated nearly $50,000 of his own money, Kayne spat on the floor before blurting out something about how rich people can get procreating.