NZ Cricket To “Go Back To Basics” After Australian Flogging

New Zealand Cricket has announced that the entire playing squad will be put through an intensive “Back to Basics” programme when the complete flogging they’ve been handed by the Australians finishes up tomorrow afternoon. 

A source within the so-called national team told The Waterton Sports Chronicle the programme will focus initially on what the game of cricket actually is, with the first day set aside to teach the players how the game works and what the whole idea of it is. 

Day two will apparently focus on more technical areas like what a cricket bat is, how to spot a cricket ball, and what to do when a bowler bowls one at you. 

Day three will move to even more complicated things like when to catch the ball, how to actually catch it, and what to do with it if you do catch it. 

It’s hoped the programme will cure the team of the amnesia they’ve obviously all suffered since arriving in Australia late last year. 

“We’re hoping if the boys can grasp those concepts fairly quickly we might be able to move to the next step and see how they go playing an actual game. Although it will be baby steps at first, so we’ll get one of the local high school 5th XI’s in for a practice game.” explained the source. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll make sure the kids go easy on them.” he added.