Supercars Underachiever Honoured With Perpetual Trophy

In a bid to embrace the youth of today’s desire to be congratulated for even the most mediocre of performances, Supercars has announced the new Nick Percat Trophy, in the form of the “Golden Handbrake” award. 

The award will look to celebrate remarkable achievements in endurance partnerships despite providing such little assistance to the team drive it may actually be a hindrance. Competition was fierce for the naming rights of the award, with Paul Morris’ 2014 “drive” a notable highlight. 

Supercars Head of Participation And Youth Affairs, Chad Tenpenny (17) said via a TikTok upload, because that’s where all the kids are these days apparently, that it was important they didn’t make anyone feel bad. 

“There was a fairly crowded list of potential naming rights winners” he explained. 

“Matt Campbell was up there for his effort in 2017 when he seemed to spend more time doing handbrake turns in escape roads than actually driving on the track.”. 

“And of course Renee Gracie was in the running for the naming rights despite actually being the lead driver with Simona that year.”. 

“We also considered calling it the Jamie Whincup Trophy after his effort in 2014 when he decided to rely on thoughts and prayers over actual fuel in the tank. But we couldn’t be bothered with all the whinging from Triple 8.” advised Chad. 

Ultimately, however, Percat was selected for the fact even a trained monkey could probably have won Bathurst in the HRT car, especially with GT’s talents providing the coattails in 2011.

“Did you know I won Bathurst?” Percat asked this reporter, when asked about the accolade.