Scomo Says “Fuck It”, Signs Up At Local Fire Station

In an obvious attempt to placate the entire national and international news media who are all volunteer firefighters and leaders of nations, Scott Morrison has today signed up to be a volunteer firefighter. 

The shocking move comes as the embattled leader of Australia left the country for a week, incorrectly thinking that the states might be able to handle state-based issues themselves without running away crying when it went tits up.

“I’m not sure what else they want me to do. It’s a big fire. Like really big. I tried the whole ‘let’s leave it up to the state government to sort it out’, because that’s what they said they wanted, but that didn’t work” he explained. 

The Waterton Political Chronicle can reveal that 9/10 social media commenters want the Prime Minister to give up his day job and go and actually do something to stop the fires. 

Interestingly, when this reporter asked a few Waterton locals what they’re doing to help fight the fires, the overwhelming response was that they had jobs to go to and couldn’t take time off work to fight “some silly fire”. 

The Waterton Political Chronicle also sought comment from NSW State Premier Gladys Berejiklian, but sadly she donned the Invisibility Cloak she had earlier borrowed from Harry Potter before we could catch up with her.