Supercars To Become SuperSUVs In 2022.

With Holden confirming that fans of rear wheel drive V8 muscle cars aren’t that keen on spending actual money on front wheel drive Opels that identify as Commodores, Supercars has today announced that from 2022, the series will be rebranded to reflect more accurately what Holden can actually sell. 

Speaking from Roland Dane’s beach house, where he’s enjoying a few days of R&R following a busy 2019 season trying to stop Fords from winning races, Paulie the Parity Pelican announced that from 2022 the Opel would be replaced by the “more relevant” Holden Captiva. 

“We feel that the move to the Crap… sorry Captiva is the logical next step in the evolution of Supercars from barely watchable to completely irrelevant” he squawked. 

Paulie told this reporter that any teams currently running Ford Mustangs will also need to switch over to a “more relevant option for 2022, to keep it fair for Triple 8”. 

“What we’re hoping will happen, is Ford will go with the Everest, and then fans will go and find something else to watch” he explained. 

“Then we won’t have to deal with all the drama that comes with people watching our series, so we can get on with the important business of making sure Triple 8 wins in peace” he said.