Abu Dhabi F1 GP Going For Record Crowd Numbers

Organisers of the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix have said they’re pleased with the crowd attendance this year, with a record 27 people projected to turn up to the race that no one really cares about. 

Race organiser and fan of gold-plated everything, Sheikh Mohammed said the increase in attendance compared to previous years was “conclusive proof that it was definitely worth spending billions of dollars for a couple of days of mediocre racing every year”. 

“Last year we had 24 people watching at the track, we’ve seen a 12% increase in just one year, so we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.” he added. 

“And anyway, what else am I going to spend all the money on? I’ve already done the whole palace, supercars, and unnecessarily golden superyacht thing.” explained the Sheikh. 

Asked if he was looking forward to the race on Sunday, the Sheikh said “Me? Oh haha, no the track is rubbish. Everyone knows it’s going to be just as sleep-inducing as every other year haha. Nah I’ll probably head out on one of my yachts for a couple of drinks and a swim”.