Prince Andrew Should Have Gone To Specsavers

Following Prince Andrew’s complete failure to notice that there maybe seemed to be a disproportionately high number of underage girls on the islands he was being flown to by the allegedly not killed but still somehow dead Epstein, it’s now up to the public to judge him, and frankly it’s not going well so far.

“Yes, I would go and stay in his house. But that was because of his girlfriend, not him” said the Prince, in an attempt to reassure everyone that nothing even slightly dodgy ever happened. 

“Never happened” said Prince Andrew, of a story about him allegedly dancing with some teenager on Epstein’s island. 

“She provided a photo” said the reporter, in what the average person would assume is not going to be fun times for Prince Andrew. 

Following that bombshell, Andy cracked out the “I’m a member of the Royal Family” thing and proceeded to try to name drop his way out of what could become a difficult few years.