34-Year-Old Woman Still Searching For “The One” Catches Actual Taxi Home From Club

A Waterton woman who still hasn’t found what she’s looking for caught a cab home tonight “for old time’s sake”. 

The incident unfolded when perennial first-dater Ellie (34) once again spent three hours this afternoon getting all dressed up for “a big night” only to come away empty-handed once more. 

“I’m about ready to give up” she said. 

“All I want is a ridiculously attractive athletic guy who’s taller than me, owns his own company, has at least a million in the bank, lives in his own house, has at least 50,000 Instagram followers, and isn’t a dick.” she explained. 

“I really don’t see why that’s so difficult”. 

Having failed to find Chris Hemsworth’s clone in a Waterton pub at 10pm on a Friday for some unknown reason, Ellie called Waterton Cabs to come pick her up, apparently because that’s what she used to when she was young. 

“Meh. At least I’ve got time to find another cat to add to my family now.” she sighed.