Penguin With No Mates Prances Around Otago Beach After Winning “Bird Of The Year”

A yellowed-eyed penguin is the talk of a windswept Otago beach today after taking out the coveted “Bird of the Year” title. 

Harry the Hoiho resembled more of a peacock as he spent the morning prancing around the beach with his chest puffed out, signing autographs on $5 notes, and generally basking in his new-found glory.

When this reporter spoke to Harry he explained that it was a tough contest, and he was “pretty stoked” to have taken out the award after stiff competition from Kevin the Kakapo. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty stoked eh bru” he squawked. 

“Kevin gave it a good crack, but at the end of the day I think he probably lost a bunch of votes to Kelvin (the Kea) because people can’t really tell the difference between those two eh” he added. 

Speaking from  a Far North Queensland rainforest, Colin the Cassowary was pretty miffed at the result. 

“What a rort! Man New Zealand has some useless birds!” he ranted. 

“I’m basically a fricking velociraptor for christ’s sake! What’s so special about that poxy little thing?!”